Category: Essays

Are You Comfortable?

Some things are just plain uncomfortable. Like when you’re in the window seat on the airplane, the two passengers next to you are both fast asleep, and you really have to go. How about when the dentist says, “Open a little wider” and your mouth is already open the size of the far end of the Grand Canyon? What about the woman who notices that her colleague seems a little chunky around the middle lately so she congratulates her on being pregnant and is told, “Oh, I’m not pregnant, what made you think I am?” U-N-C-O-M-F-O-R-T-A-B-L-E.

Photography has been described as fun, creative, challenging, enlightening and many other things, but, unlike the situations I’ve mentioned, I had never heard it called “uncomfortable.” That is until one day while shopping in a camera store. During a discussion about what equipment is the easiest to use and how some is more cumbersome than others, the salesperson casually remarked, “Well, you have to find what works best for you. After all, photography is uncomfortable.” That remark got me to thinking…

An old pair of jeans, slippers, or that raggedy worn-out sweatshirt with the faded school logo; now that’s comfortable. Your beat up Lazy Boy recliner with the cracked leather on the front part of the seat…that’s comfortable. However, climbing uphill while schlepping a camera bag loaded with two camera bodies, four lenses, and a ham and Swiss sandwich while also toting a tripod and a bottle of Poland Springs water, now that’s downright uncomfortable! Bending down into some twisted yoga-like position so you can capture that ground-hugging flower at just the right angle only to have to keep shifting position as the wind keeps blowing the damn thing from left to right, then front to back while the petals go in and out of focus…uncomfortable to say the least. Forcing your aging knees to lower you to the level of your grandkid so you can take a shot of his face and not the top of his head (the way most non-photographers do) then trying to stand back up…clearly u-n-c-o-m-f-o-r-t-a-b-l-e. And let’s not forget the famous shot all travelers shoot of their favorite giant redwood tree. You know, the one looking straight up so the branches recede toward the clouds giving us that over-photographed railroad track perspective. Chiropractors love that shot, but your neck doesn’t. Rather than seeking medical help, we rush home to smear on the Ben-Gay resulting in a searing, burning sensation accompanied by a smell which leaves us unable to enter a room with other human beings. All of this as a result of our beloved hobby, photography.

Okay, so maybe photography is uncomfortable. So what’s the solution? Should we abandon our passion and sit on the couch binge-watching episodes of Seinfeld on Netflix? I don’t think so. I, for one, will continue seeking to produce earth-shattering, prize winning, cover of National Geographic type images while straining my back, fighting a crick in my neck and enduring painful knee joints. I vow to continue to pursue this photo stuff, this beloved, wonderful hobby however uncomfortable it may be.

As for now, I have to stop typing. I’m getting modern day writer’s cramp, aka Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Typing is uncomfortable.

Guilt Free Zooming!

Okay, I’ll admit it…I’m on a Zoom kick.  And to make matters worse, I’m once again writing about a timely and current topic which I dealt with in my last article.  As I mentioned in that piece, I rarely write about anything current since some of the venues I write for stockpile the articles and release them months or even years, after I’ve submitted them to these publishers. So if something’s too timely and they hang on to it for a while, by the time you read it, it’s old news.  Anyway, I’m taking a gamble so here’s my continued take on a current phenomena.

Ever start reading a book and realize after a while that you’re not really enjoying the book, or even worse…you’re starting to really hate the damn thing?  While reading you start to think about chocolate chip cookies or how you’d rather finish up the Reader’s Digest article you started on how an aardvark saved some guy from drowning in the Caspian Sea.  Well that’s how it is with me and some Zoom meetings.  This whole Zoom thing attacked us like a falling meteorite and now I kinda wish it would go back to where it came from.  Now I must admit that I have had some nice experiences with Zoom birthday parties, camera club meetings etc.  HOWEVER…there have been some where I was so sorry I clicked the link and joined.  Here are just a few of the reasons that after a while, that “Leave Meeting” button becomes so tempting.  First, I see people in those little cutsie boxes off to the side that I really would choose not to spend any time with; not now, not tomorrow, not ever.  Second, I’m getting tired of hearing the presenter saying, “Just hold on a second folks, I can’t seem to be able to share my screen…Bill, can you see my screen?  Can they?  Oh, never mind, there it is.”  Apparently, this is today’s version of “Houston, we have a problem.” Third, the topic is not exactly as advertised.  I couldn’t wait till Thursday to watch the Zoom webinar on how to photograph birds.  Instead, I’m hearing about the origin of the name “Yellow Bellied Sapsucker.”  I don’t care if his name is Alfred E. Neuman, I just want to know how to get his eye tack sharp!  The list goes on and on.

My biggest issue with these virtual fun fests is that I now deal with, yes…you guessed it…Zoom Guilt.  Like the book I can’t put down, I feel compelled to stay on, staring at the  horror on my screen rather than simply clicking on “Leave Meeting”.  I worry that other attendees will say, “Where’s Rick?  He was with us before.”  Maybe they’ll think I just couldn’t hold it in anymore and made a mad dash to the potty or, even worse…He left because his Depends needed to be changed.  Will they consider me a deserter?  Will this result in a dishonorable discharge?  How will I face them if we ever have a real meeting again (wishful thinking)?  Yes, Zoom Guilt is real.  My therapist said so.  She said that I must dig deep within myself to find the true meaning of why I’m so afraid to duck out of a meeting.  Perhaps, it’s connected with my guilt about cutting English class, or missing the “mandatory” meeting at work which I skipped so I could go to the beach.

The bottom line here is that we must all be on guard.  We must realize that at any time during a virtual meeting, any of us is subject to experiencing the pangs of Zoom Guilt.  I’ve seen several TV ads selling various products which claim they’ll help alleviate this problem (Zoomvil, Zoom Bismol) as well as several support groups out there such as Zoom Watchers.

So stay alert.  These are trying times and you must adjust.  Finally, remember, “Only you can prevent Zoom Guilt”.

Thank You.  This has been a public service message.

Zoomba

I usually try to write articles that are kind of “timeless”.  By this I mean ones that do not echo current events or the particular times in which we now live.  I do this because certain places which publish these articles don’t release them for several months, or even years.  But this time I’ve chosen a current topic to write about, so if you happen to read this some time in the future, it may no longer be relevant, but that’s okay.  Let it be a reminder of the times we once experienced and how today’s events may have helped changed the camera club experience in the future.

Zoom in, zoom out!  Whether we shoot stills or videos, at some point we all try to get in closer or back up to include more, or less, in the frame.  For you zoom lens aficionados, this means a simple rotation of a ring on your lens.  For you prime lens users (whom I call “Primates”) this means setting your feet in motion and moving forward or backward.  However, today, as a result of the Coronavirus, zooming has taken on a new meaning.  It’s the new way we attend camera club meetings. It goes like this…

“Hey Bob, what’s up?”  “Hi Marge, are you back from Florida yet?  I can’t tell by looking at your background.”  “Am I muted?  Can anyone hear me?”  “We see your name, but not your face.  Turn on your video.”  “How do you do that?”  And the beat goes on, and on and on…until finally we hear, “Okay, I’m gonna mute everybody and then we’ll begin the meeting.”

So, are Zoom meetings a bad thing?  Here’s are some pros and cons:

Some say they’re great because they don’t have to get up from their couch to attend.  Others say they miss the socialization that in person meetings offer. I find there’s actually more socialization on Zoom because at the “real” meetings, everyone gravitates to their same four friends and never interacts with anyone else.  On Zoom I see people talking to others that they never sit with at the meetings and rarely talk to.  Also, on Zoom, I can finally associate faces with names.  (“Oh, that’s who Bernie Flotz is!”)

I find the competition images look much better on Zoom than on the screen at the live meetings.  They look more like they do on my computer, mainly because there are no variables such as the quality of the club’s projector, the laptop the judge is looking at etc. Then there’s the convenience of not missing a meeting in the middle of a February blizzard.  Lastly, I love being able to make some rude comment (as loud as I want) about a judge’s remarks about an image. But I alway check first to make sure I’m muted!

I could go on and on.  I’m certainly not advocating the abolishment of live meetings.  There may be, however, some place in the future for Zoom meetings to become a part of camera club activities.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go down to my basement home gym, put on some Salsa music, and do a self-motivated Zumba routine.  After all, I must maintain my cardio fitness so I’ll be physically able to attend  the next Zoom meeting.

Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag

When we turned on the radio in 1965, we often heard James Brown sing the Grammy winning rhythm and blues hit, “Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag.”   Today, this has a whole new meaning to me.  First of all, my grandkids call me Papa.  Secondly, I’m a photo equipment bagaholic.  At present count I have approximately fifteen camera bags.  Now that’s ridiculous and I know it.  After all, how many cameras do I use and how many lenses can I bring with me when I go out shooting?  I ask myself this question every time I look in my closet at my bag collection.

Of my many camera bags, one I look at today and just shake my head is a ridiculous (by today’s standards) hard case covered with some black plastic leatherette concoction.  I shlepped this thing throughout a two-week trip to Europe in 1974.  It was uncomfortable and heavier than the camera and lenses it carried.  It did, however, hold every little souvenir I bought and a sandwich, all jammed in there next to the rolls of film.  Throughout the years I have purchased soft canvas bags, rock-hard canvas bags, and, of course, several made of what they call ballistic nylon. Bags like this are designed to protect your camera from a nuclear war or the upcoming Zombie apocalypse.

I have at least one bag made to carry those giant lenses…the ones that look like a bazooka.  However, I don’t photograph insects flying at Mach I on the far side of a three mile wide lake, so I don’t own any of those lenses.  So why did I buy that bag?  Just in case, I guess.  I also have several mini-cases.  Some are just big enough to haul around a Kodak Instamatic and one roll of film.  I don’t use my Instamatic anymore, nor do I shoot film.  But I just can’t part with these bags.  I have sling bags which I never use because they always seem to slip off my shoulder and sling themselves down into my crotch…not conducive to good shooting habits.  I also have one backpack bag which I use for storage.  I love all the little cubbyholes you can build with those moveable dividers.  When I first got it it took an eternity of moving them around so I could make just the right size cubby for each of my lenses. It has never left its comfy spot on a shelf in my closet. It holds a lot of lenses so that’s what I use it for; storage.  I have never put it on as a backpack.  I like to shoot spontaneously; often street shots.  How can I get to a lens quickly if it’s buried in a bag between my shoulder blades?  Maybe some day I will put it on… to correct my posture. Several years ago I fell prey to the craze of “messenger bags”.  I bought a few of these.  They’re much like the saddle bags that John Wayne slung over his horse’s back.  When I need to grab my camera from one of these, by the time I pull the flap over, I’ve missed the shot.  Then they started making these with a zipper on the top so you can reach through the flap to get at your camera.  So why don’t they just leave off the flap and simply have a zipper in the top of the bag?  Another problem is that at the ends of the zipper there’s barely enough room to get your hand in so you can grab the camera!

My latest acquisition is a bag which has the zipper and cleverly has one end which is wider so I actually can get my hand in.  Now if they’d only make one which is wide at both ends.  Then I could get to my camera and the extra lens that I have at the other end of the bag.  The bag I carry to the gym has this arrangement and I’ve been carrying that bag for almost ten years!  Hello…camera bag manufacturers…take a look at my gym bag for an innovative new design idea.

I guess I’ll be forever in search of the perfect camera bag.  Although I may be closer to the end of my search.  I’ve seen some ammunition bags in Army Navy stores (or whatever they call them now) that look like pretty good candidates.  I recently took a close look at my wife’s bag; another possibility!  I’m not ready to give up my search, but in the meanwhile, I think I’ll pen a song called ”Papa’s Got A Brand New Camera Bag”, a Grammy winner if I do say so myself!